Wishing for the daily humdrum :)

I'm just sitting here eating my lunch (yup!-they remembered me today!) :), and thinking....of course. Lots of time to think, right? I was getting teary looking over at my wall of dogs (and Bella) Laura conveniently posted right next to my bed...what I wouldn't give to have them (Jameson and Guinness...fat chance getting Bella in here!!)up here with me cuddling and walking the halls; I know it would do all three of us a lot of good! I hate that they are confused, and that Guinny sleeps in my room on his little dog bed every night wondering what's going on. Jamey, on the other hand, has moved up in the world from a very cozy (tailor-made by Katherine!) dog pillow to my parents' bed...he knows how to take advantage of a situation! Apparently my dad has even moved to my sister, Katie's bed, some nights when Jameson stretches over into his side, prompting Jameson to simply move his head to my dad's pillow and recline himself further. No, they're not spoiled at all!

I was also thinking about how boring and sometimes sad everyday errands/tasks can be, and how they had me feeling down before I relapsed. I was working part-time, but I decided I wasn't enjoying it too much anymore, I interviewed for another job (two weeks before I relapsed), but still didn't know what I really wanted to do with my life. I stressed about what we would all eat for dinner, how messy my room was, my incredibly huge to-do list, helping my parents around the house. What I wouldn't give now to have those silly inconsequential worries right now. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still have them in some sense, but of course my perspective has once again been altered. I've maintained throughout the whole recovery process that having cancer (or any serious illness/accident)once is enough to give anyone the opportunity to step back and remember what really matters each day. I was still able to do that, and I think I would have been just fine without a relapse, but alas, there was another plan. I'm still pissed about that, but I'll deal. :)

I had been thinking about perspective a lot before I relapsed, I guess because I felt like I was in such a strange place in my life: 30, single, living at home, working only part-time, unsure about my future. It always gave me comfort to look at the sky and realize that I was only a very small part of the story, that there are other people out there dealing with challenges, joys, heartaches in their own lives. The stars themselves and the seemingly magical and artistic order of it all is calming to me. Think maybe I should take up astronomy! Although that didn't work out too well my first year at UVA...once they started talking about the pull of the oceans, blah, blah, blah, my eyes glazed over...I just wanted to gaze at the sky...maybe now's the time to pick up a new hobby, huh?!

Riding in planes always helps too. It always reminds me of opening up an old calculator and looking down at the inner workings, then I realize I'm looking down on houses, trees, cars, buildings, but the altitude blurs everyone's story together. In some ways, it makes the world feel much more organized, and I'm always happy to be stuck by the window seat. :) (too bad for the people in the middle and the aisle who I have to constantly climb over to use the bathroom, right?!!)

Well, I've done my twenty laps for the day already! Paulina, Kathryn and Brenda helped me knock those out which was fun!! Kathryn also made me promise to comment on her extreme hula hooping skills...I was indeed impressed, although the only photo I was able to get is backlit, so unfortunately you can't get a good sense of her skill. Brenda asked to mention her valiant effort, and I'm sure she'll be back for more!

I'm still feeling pretty well other than the freakin' congestion (I feel like even my ears are full of snot, now! And yes, Mom, that's the technical term!!) :) Neither the Clarinex nor the Sudafed are doing the trick, but the important thing is I'm able to sleep at night with my Ativan. Although last night it felt like they woke me up a bunch of times, and they even weighed me in the middle of the night?! Like what, I'm going to magically drop or gain a pound in my sleep? Oh well.

I practiced Wii Fit yesterday with Tiso--let me tell you, that soccer headbutting thing looks much easier than it really is! I got hit in the head lots with a panda head (what's up with that?!!) and soccer shoes, but I did actually hit some soccer balls (inadvertently). I'll try some more Wii when some other visitors get in...it's definitely more fun to have some competition! :) Just so you know, my character on Wii is bald with blue eyeshadow, red lips and glasses...very cool looking! I myself am not bald yet, but once I notice any hairs falling out, Laura's on! I know she's looking forward to shaving my head again, and to look on the bright side, it does feel like a head massage so I guess I'm looking forward to that aspect of it.

Hope everyone is doing well...all is good here as you can see. Yes, I'm wishing I were more worried about the daily humdrum and what I'm going to do with my life and how I'll find a date :) rather than sitting here in this hospital, but I will just take this as another lesson about perspective. I hear ya, God, LOUD AND CLEAR!!! My priorities are in order, now help me get rid of these crappy Gremlins in my body and get on with my life! :)