Don't worry...this won't be a long one 'cause I'm tired. :) ....famous last words. I actually wasn't going to write tonight, but then when I was adding some "to do" items to my calendar on my phone, I had the bright idea to calculate just how much time I had left here before heading out to Seattle. Only 3 1/2 weeks. Thinking about leaving made me cry, especially because Jameson wouldn't stop watching me. He followed me into the bathroom and lay down so that his body covered my feet, and he just looked at me...I think he knows I'm OK now 'cause he's resigned himself to the couch by my bed, but I feel like he's my babysitter. I'm gonna say it again even though you're sick of hearing it....I'm really gonna miss my boys! Even if Guinness can sleep soundly through a minor crisis, I know he loves me and will miss me. :)
Anyway, so I felt like I needed to write to get some worries out of my mind before heading to bed. Then my phone rang, and it was Ronnie. I hadn't talked to him in a couple days, and although I still felt sad after realizing that Seattle is quickly approaching, talking to him really calmed me down....it is just so funny how timing works sometimes, isn't it? I didn't know that a conversation with my brother right then could have been what I needed, but it was (not that I don't always appreciate your conversations, Ronnie, but you know what I mean). :) When I mentioned the fact that Seattle was only 3 1/2 weeks away, he turned it into a positive and reminded me that the quicker I get out there, the faster I can plow through everything and get this crap behind me (those are my words...Ronnie's much more eloquent). I'm looking at it as a "semester abroad" (except for it's not for school and it's Seattle, not Spain or anything :) ). I will be homesick, but I'll do what I have to do and get back home.
I've been thinking a little more lately about my gene translocation (7;21) which is very rare, as I've written before. It didn't bother me much before, but because everyone keeps talking about how weird it is, I'm worrying about it more. I'm trying really hard to make it into a positive aspect about my leukemia...ok, so my cancer (and this translocation) came back in the first place and that's not good, but it did take 3 1/2 years and it is sensitive to chemo. Maybe my translocation means I will be one of few people to just breeze right through the transplant without any problems, and I will surprise the doctors by the amazing leaps and bounds I take in recovery, and how quickly and well Laura's cells engraft. I much prefer that scenario to any negative one, so I will stick with it!! It's just a matter of distracting my mind each time it wanders into a darker place which I can't help but do after seeing what I've seen with cancer these past years.
So I wished on a star tonight! :) I went outside to listen to the katydids and look at the stars, and I wished for health and happiness and a pleasant time in Seattle....don't worry, I'm not delusional...I know this is no spa getaway, but I hope to get out and enjoy the city under whatever limitations I am given.
I also picked another travel destination for once this crap is over...I saw "Mamma Mia" with my mom and Laura earlier this week, and I have got to go to Greece!!!!!! The scenery is spectacular (and the movie is good too!)....so first Ireland, then Greece, this is my plan. It feels good to have things to work torward.
Remember when I said this wouldn't be long? Oh well, as long as it helps me, right?!! hahaha Let's see...what else do I have to tell you? I am officially neutropenic today which means no more movie theaters, restaurants, salads, fruits, etc...I have to be supercareful about infection so tomorrow when I venture out to my doctor's office and later to the hospital for platelets, I'll wear my stylish mask. They think I'll probably need red blood cells this weekend too, so I'll have to see what my counts are like tomorrow and Saturday before they schedule me to get those. That's about all! I had a good day today (I told you this post would be more upbeat than the last one!). I'm definitely still annoyed that my life is paused again, but there's not much I can do about it except keep my head up, my pace steady and clear each obstacle as it comes (I'm picturing myself as an Olympic hurdler, all style and grace). :)
Hope everyone is doing well. PS Anyone watch "My Boys" tonight? It was particularly funny tonight...I can't believe the season finale is next week!